Staying Away From...
You know that subject. The one that has the attention of the world right now. The storm we are all in together. That subject.
Charlie and I were walking the other day when I noticed my mind spinning on that subject. The thoughts seemed like an old piece of chewing gum - hard and tasteless. I switched to thinking about gardening, marveling at the beautiful blue sky, and soaking in the warmth of the sun on my face.
And I noticed Charlie sniffing along our path, catching up on his "news" from the neighborhood. Always in the moment, he was not the least bit concerned about a potential catastrophe. In fact, he is probably delighted that I have been working from home for the past two months. Together we walk down the hall to our home office and prepare to meet clients through telehealth. Charlie lays by my feet and will occasionally make an appearance on camera. We take our breaks together and go for a walk during lunchtime. And now that the weather is improving, we will begin to hike again on the weekends. How could life be any better for him? And I love having him with me all day!
Blissfully ignorant of the human world. There are days I want to be blissfully ignorant. And I am doing so to the best of my ability. I have turned off all news feeds and stopped checking certain websites. I want to insulate myself in a bubble of sunshine and flowers. But as a human, that really is not very…. well, I was going to say realistic. But I think that may be wrong.
I do believe that we create our own reality. From my point of view, the world is a good and safe place with some dangers.** And when I find myself catastrophizing and spiraling down the rabbit hole of fear, I remind myself about last years' experience with the Incredible Hulk Coaster at Universal Orlando.
Riding a roller-coaster creates an exhilarating yet terrifying feeling. I do not get nervous until I climb in the roller-coaster car and buckle in. With the case of the Incredible Hulk Coaster, we were "fortunate" enough to be in the front seats. The roll bar came down over my shoulders, and the lap restraint was locked in place. I could feel my heart race, and I started to say, "This is gonna suck!" or "I freakin' hate this!" My thought was, "What was I thinking, this is stupid." And fear began to take over, but it was too late to get out.
Our car was launched, and we began the slow climb up the first massive hill inside a lighted tunnel. But then we stopped about a 1/8th of the way up and waited…and waited…and waited. And as we sat there (which seemed like forever but was probably less than 10 seconds), I had a quick shift in perspective. Roller-coasters are relatively safe. So, I changed my mantra from "This is gonna suck!" to "I am safe, this is safe, everyone is safe."
Then suddenly, without warning, we were shot out of the tunnel so fast I lost my breath. When it caught up with me, I began to laugh and scream at the same time. But I was not afraid because I knew in my heart, I was safe, and that allowed me to stay in those adrenaline-charged moments.
We were all a bit stunned and discombobulated at the end of the ride (it took a great deal of mindfulness to make our way down the stairs to the ground level). But we were also laughing and revealing at what a horrific and great ride it was!
I am safe, we are safe, the world is safe. There is quite a bit of power in those few words. There is always a choice, and you can create your own reality. Buy into fear and uncertainty, or tweak your belief to something soothing, calmer, more joyful.
Changing your focus won't stop the ride, but it can make it more tolerable or, in some cases, enjoyable. You may still feel discombobulated for a bit, and it may take some time to feel stable again. You may laugh, cry, or high-five a friend. You might feel changed by the ride, and your perspective about yourself and the world may be changed. But you will survive, and it will be okay.
**I want to acknowledge there are situations in our world that are extremely dangerous. Abuse, neglect, domestic violence, war, famine, genocide, rape, assault, hate crimes, to name just a few. Trauma can profoundly disrupt a person's sense of safety and security.
My intention with this article is to give people a different way to help themselves through fear-based thoughts and beliefs. If you struggle with the effects of trauma, please contact a mental health professional to help you return to a state of well-being and thriving.
© 2013-2020 Kelly Marker, Charlie’s Wisdom All Rights Reserved
The information and material on this blog are based on my personal opinions and experiences. It is not intended as professional mental health advice. The ideas and strategies should never be used without first assessing your mental health situation, or without consulting a mental health professional. My thoughts and opinions will continue to evolve and change as I continue to grow and learn.
Hello my soul adventure friends! Subscribe today to get our newest adventure delivered directly to you!
