Desire urges me on, while fear bridals me
-
Giordano Bruno

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Bliss and Peace - November 1, 2014

Bliss and Peace - November 1, 2014

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Most people make their New Year’s resolutions on January 1. For some reason, the New Year for me starts in October. I don’t have a clear explanation for this; it feels like an energetic shift, and I have an internal knowing that October is the time for me to reflect on the past year and prepare for the coming year. I realize this is very different, and maybe a little odd; but it is right for me.

For this reason, every October Charlie and I take a break from the world and enjoy a blissful week at a family cabin located on a beautiful lake in the middle of Nebraska. Activities included walking, sleeping, eating, reading, writing, listening to my favorite music, watching fun movies, and just generally relaxing. The best parts for Charlie include no other dogs to compete for my attention, chasing the ball, swimming, chasing the ball again, swimming, trying to catch the irritating squirrels who chatter at him, swimming, and a vigorous toweling off before coming into the cabin. I’m not sure which is his favorite part, the swimming or the toweling off – he gets a look of utter joy when he is being rubbed down with the towel. I think he swims just to be toweled off.

There is no internet connection at the cabin, and cell coverage can be sketchy. I don’t have to worry about anyone else and can live by whatever schedule I wanted. In October, it is hushed and peaceful inviting both of us to unplug from the world and me to do some soul searching, self-discovery, and personal growth. This year I experienced some profound and surprising insights which led me to a ceremonial burning to release old “stuff” and allow forgiveness of others, as well as of myself, to flow. Blame was released, and immense gratitude embraced for all that I have experienced and learned throughout my life. Everything I experienced made me who I am today, and I like me.

A knowing emerged that every person (and four-legged friend) in my life has been a part of this journey, and I a part of their journey; molding each other to become the people we are today. We all have an impact on one another, but there is a personal choice in how another may change our perception of self or the world. There is abundant freedom with this choice, and it is a fantastic feeling.

Empty Docks - preparation for the Winter Season

Empty Docks - preparation for the Winter Season

As I reflected on the past year, there was an awareness of how I drew on my courage for support as I stayed open to my messages, social dynamics, and visceral reactions, to better understand who I am, what I want to reprogram, and what needed to be cleared and let go.

The past has not necessarily been an easy journey to traverse. There were many occasions when I felt depressed, angry, frustrated, and overwhelmed. I cried on my friend’s shoulders and slogged through life putting one foot in front of the other to make it through the moment, day, week, or month. I learned to breathe through the tough times, figured out how to honor the good and bad experiences in my life, practiced staying present in the moment, and cherished being able to laugh at myself or the situation.

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By the end of the week, I was totally blissed out and tempted to stay forever. However, the draw to return to the family was stronger, so I set my intention for the path I want to follow for the coming year, released the “how” to Universe, said my gratitude for the experience and packed up to return to the beautiful Black Hills and my wonderful family. I start my new year with a light and joyful heart; with a hope for more revelation about true desire and how to assimilate that into daily living. With Charlie at my side, I’m sure it will be a fun and unique adventure.

© 2013-2019 Kelly Marker, Charlie’s Wisdom All Rights Reserved

Reconnected and Grounded - November 7, 2014

Reconnected and Grounded - November 7, 2014

Discovering The Heart's Desire - October 10, 2014

Discovering The Heart's Desire - October 10, 2014