Sacred in the Ordinary
"Honor the space between no longer and not yet." Nancy Levin
Ever had the experience while driving that you suddenly realize you are 10 minutes farther along the road but do not have a clear memory of how you got there?
Perhaps it's life after raising kids, or life beyond fifty. There comes a time when one looks around and realizes how much has been missed. You have been consumed with the rat race of life prioritizing activities, meals, school, work, and other daily events (car and house repairs, illnesses, cleaning, shopping, etc.). Suddenly you "lookup" and you are 20 years older. How the heck did that happen? It all went too fast. There are memories, but no apparent recognition of how you got here.
And "here" offers a unique opportunity. A fork in the road, so to speak. Your choices: 1) continue with the same patterns, practices, and behaviors, or 2) do something different.
I choose something different.
"Walk slowly without any idea of gain." - A Zen notion
A recent theme in my life has been to slow down. But what exactly does that mean or look like? I mentioned in my last article F*ck the Shoulds that I was done moving at breakneck speeds. Thus, I have been more selective about what and how many activities to be involved with (much more manageable as an empty nester). Okay, what else?
I practice to live intentionally. Living in that space "between not yet and no longer" – listening to my heart's desire and deliberately choosing my next action (even if it's paying the bills or doing chores). There is still a to-do list, but I find that living intentionally provides an opportunity to move at a slower pace. I stay with one task until completion then decide which task is next. It allows me to slow down my body and thought process.
Multitasking creates a sense of disconnection from yourself and your loved ones. Living intentionally creates a stronger sense of connection and intimacy. Not everything has to be done immediately nor is it going to get done all at once. I might as well enjoy whatever I am doing in the moment and enjoy the people around me with undivided attention.
I purposely slow down my body, so I am consistently engaging in the parasympathetic system (fat and happy; relaxed). I walk or move slower when I put away the dishes, make the bed, fold the laundry, etc. I can feel the cells in my body slowing down, my heart relaxing, breathing deeper. This encourages mindfulness and contemplation.
It feels wonderful to focus on what I am doing at the moment and not the 20 more that “need” to be done. Only when a task is completed (even if it is not done yet but it is time for a break from it) do I decide what is next. I may realize that my body is feeling tired and a small break would feel good. It’s my choice.
F*ck the Shoulds
I choose to live my own life and not one dictated by my fears.
Charlie is a great role model for living intentionally. His priorities are simple:
hiking
going for walks or car rides
belly or head scratches
fun snacks (his current favorites are blueberries, dried mango, or popcorn)
swimming
being toweled off after swimming or getting wet in the rain or snow
having a "cloud" for a bed (this is five twin size mattress toppers folded in half and stacked then covered with a fitted twin sheet)
napping (preferably on his cloud)
By slowing down, I don't mean that Charlie just lays around doing nothing. He just doesn't seem to be multitasking or concerned about future events. He is entirely in the moment of whatever activity he is doing. Living intentionally.
Get out of the small brain and expand the mind. Sacred in the Ordinary. Slow down and make each chore, activity, and interaction special. Practice being fully present.
Live in the space "between no longer and not yet" and enjoy life as it is happening.
© 2013-2020 Kelly Marker, Charlie’s Wisdom All Rights Reserved
